Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was a quick, fun read, but also deeply thoughtful and a bit life-affirming. Adichie wrote the book first as a response to an email from her friend about how to raise a feminist daughter. I’d like to think I’m raising a feminist daughter and son, but am I? I opened this book not just as a reader, but as a parent. I was very interested to see if Adichie’s advice matched some of the choices I have made.

The 15 suggestions that she outlines are so detailed, some to me are so obvious. Not for raising a “feminist daughter”, but for raising a good human. I recently “suggested” to a pregnant friend not to raise her kid to be an a$$hole, as a boy was a super jerk at my son’s soccer game a few weeks ago. She agreed that this should be the basic goal of every parent. After experiencing life as a parent, I don’t always think this is true. I try to not judge other parents, but sometimes I definitely do.

Adichie addresses judgment in her letter. She also talks about gender roles and marriage. I honestly loved this little book. The 15 suggestions are impactful, but also assured me of many of the choices I have made. I borrowed it from the library, but I feel like I want a copy of my own. Something I can refer back to, something I can share with my children when they are older.

While I think the "letter" was fun, it was also serious, but told in such a way that you don’t notice. The tone is light, as though it really is a letter from a friend giving you advice. I could disect each of the 15 suggestions, but I'm not going to. Instead, I am going to keep them within me and share them with people I know. Even if you don’t have a daughter, or don’t have children, this is something you should definitely read.

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.

For a long time, I thought I had read Judy Blume. If you're a bookish kid, and I was, of course you've read something by her. As I got older, I thought about it, read about her books, looked at her catalogue, and realized that I hadn't ever read one of her books. How did that happen? How did I read, and read, and READ, and not one of those authors was her? As an adult, I wondered if I should fix that gap in my reading life, especially since I felt that in just a few years, this was the kind of book my daughter might be reading.

Then, the day after I had finished reading Slaughterhouse-Five, having NO idea what I should be reading next (big book hangover), there it was on a big book table, marked down... A children's classic missing from my life, on sale! It called to me and I took Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. home and started reading it the same day.

I could have easily read the story in one day. It’s not long; reading it in one day would have been a snap. The plot flows, follows Margaret along on her pre-teen adventure.  Moving, boys, breasts, and periods, what is the next disaster going to be?  I really sympathized with Margaret, thought she was crazy, mean, nice, and hormonal.  I related with Laura Danker.  I have known more than one Nancy. We have all learned the lesson that looks aren’t everything, but it’s hard to learn that at twelve.

There’s something about finding out a book is banned that makes me want to read it more too.  I’ve read so many articles and lists about banned books and Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. is so often on them.  That was one of the reasons that if I were to only read one Blume, this would have to be the one.  I can tell why it was banned.  Periods and God.  No one wants to read about a girl trying to discover those two things.  Gross, right?  Also, blasphemous.  I actually thought that Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. is a great book to help a young person learn about those things.

The ending was the only thing I wasn’t completely happy with. It felt too open, there was too much left unsaid. It's not like I need books to wrap up every loose end, I just like books to feel finished. Maybe part of my problem was that there were about 20 more pages after the end of the story, previewing another of Judy Blume's books. I didn't know that, so I turned the page expecting more story. It was a very disappointing moment, and not the first time that has happen, when I saw what was on the next page. Please publishers, note somewhere that there's a preview of another book included so I'm not sad at the end. Thanks.

I am glad I finally read this book. It’s a modern classic, fun, sweet and something I’ll be recommending to my children and my friends’ children and anyone who hasn’t read it.  I know Blume has written books for adults, I’m interested now in reading one of those. If anyone is missing Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. from their reading lives, you should fix it.

MaddAddam

I don’t know if I can really explain how amazing MaddAddam was.  The third book in Margaret Atwood’s MaddAddam trilogy, it was everything I wanted it to be.  I loved Toby.  I loved Zeb.  The ending almost had me in tears.  The Crakers are such a unique creation; they're almost human in a way that makes them sort of ideally human.  I know I'm not making sense.  

I think my favourites parts are when Toby is telling stories to the Crakers.  It's so hilarious.  Then Blackbeard, he's a brilliant character.  The books, the writing, how the days are remembered is fantastic.  It's funny too.  There are so many serious issues throughout the book.  There are some sad, angry, emotional scenes, it makes the humour really stands out.  It stands out in such a positive way.  Though the end almost made me cry, I'll always remember how many times I laughed out loud while reading.

I feel like I should still be reading this book.  There is so much to this world and so many characters with uncertain futures.  I'm a little sad that I won't be reading this book again tonight.

I don't typically pull quotes out of what I'm reading, but this one really stuck with me.

“…as the online world became more and more pre-edited and slicked up, and as even its so-called reality sites raised questions about authenticity in the minds of the viewers, the rough, unpolished physical world was taking on a mystic allure.” (pg 169)

We all know so many "Reality Shows" are "scripted".  Situations are created to keep the viewer interested. Here is a world where practically everything is online.  So much of it, that people crave the real world.  They venture out of the confines of their lives just for experience. I hope I never forget to go outside sometimes.  Also, doesn't Reality TV often drive you crazy?

Also, there's a game for the book/from the book.  Maybe I won't be saying goodbye to this world just yet.

I could keep jumping around all the thoughts I have about MaddAddam  Maybe the next time I read it, I'l be more coherent.  There will be a next time, I'm sure of it.  If you haven't read MaddAddam or the rest of the series, what are you waiting for?  If you have, I'd love to know what you think.

Their Eyes Were Watching God

I've been lucky lately.  This past month, I've read some fantastic stories.  Their Eyes Were Watching God was simply amazing.  I could write/talk about this novel for hours, but I'm not going to. I'm going to try to stick to what engaged me most.

If you haven't read Their Eyes Were Watching God, why? Read it. Now. I know that the dialogue can be difficult to follow at first, but after a while, you notice that Hurston followed a pattern.  Ah = I, keer = care, skeered = scared, etc.  Not the whole book is like that either, only the dialogue, though the dialogue is important. Zora Neale Hurston creates Janie Crawford, a young black woman in the 1930s. We follow her life as she searches for who she really is and I think in the end, the Janie who sits talking with Pheoby, that's who she really is.

I have disliked a lot of introductions I've read lately, but I liked the one by Mary Helen Washington at the beginning of this edition. Yes, there are still some spoilery moments that I had to skim, but maybe it wasn't so bad because this was the second time I've read Their Eyes Were Watching God. Washington spoke not just of the story, but of Hurston's life. I think it is important to know what Hurston's struggles were when this book was published and what they continued to be after publication.  

Apparently Hurston's contemporaries were mad she wasn't writing protest literature.  That was what you did if you were a black writer in the 1930s.  I don't know if I've ever read any "protest literature". I had never heard of Richard Wright before reading the introduction to the novel.  He was the writer of the time and disliked Hurston's work.  What Hurston wrote was a novel about a part of America that people didn't get to see at the time; she wrote characters that could be real people.  She also wrote about a strong woman searching for herself, making her own choices.  Janie was unique.  Hurston wrote a feminist novel.

Minor Spoilers...

There's a scene where Janie and Mrs. Turner are speaking. Both these woman are lighter skinned and Mrs. Turner refers to the other people in their community as "black negroes" and other more derogatory terms.  She's very angry against the black negroes, she blames them for white people not accepting lighter skinned people like herself and Janie. Tea Cake is too black for Janie.  It was a very provocative scene.  

You know what it reminded me of?  An episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.  It was a very long time ago that I saw this episode, so I'm not completely clear on the details.  A woman, she's a friend or something of the Banks family.  She gives Ashley (played by Tatyana Ali) a brown paper bag and tells the girl that her goal should be to be lighter than the bag.  How she is supposed to achieve that, I don't know, but Ashley kept comparing her skin to the bag.  (If someone knows what episode this was or could clarify the details, I'd appreciate it.) Hurston, who wrote this novel in 1937, still speaks to modern issues.  I know Fresh Prince was a show of the 1990s, but it's not really that long ago.  It chills me to think that there could be people right now telling little girls and boys that their skin is too dark.

Okay...  Back to the novel... with vague spoilers...

Read it.  Because it makes you think.  It makes you feel for Janie and even for the people that surround her.  It makes you wonder why Janie couldn't just run her own life from the beginning and how should could stay with Jody.  It even makes you wonder why she is with Tea Cake, though he treats her better than anyone else.  Janie is intelligent and clearly beautiful.  She was a rich character that I connected with immediately.  That's what drew me into the novel more than Hurston's lovely prose or the interesting plot.  Janie was a star on the muck.

Title 5/60 for The Classics Club.

Classics Club Sync Read

How To Be A Woman

How To Be A Woman is awesome! It is hilarious. Caitlin Moran's memoir had so much hype that I was a little concerned and I wasn't sure if I should buy it.  Then, luckily I won it (thanks Lucybird!) and I knew I had to read it right away.

I'm a feminist. (My teenage self is so embarrassed.)  Modern Feminism needs to be championed by all women, not just academics.  It’s not just about the big stuff, but the little stuff too.  If you're a woman and you want the freedom to do what the men are doing, then you're a feminist.  If you want freedom, period, you're a feminist.  Feminism is about equality, not women being better than men.  Moran’s definition on page 79 is simple and straight to the point.  

I remember in high school various students saying how they hated a particular teacher, because she was strict and a feminist.  I think that was the first time I was made to feel that feminism was in some way undesirable.  It's not.  Feminists still have fun, they party, have sex, get married, have babies and all the other stuff that women do.  That teacher ended up being one of my favourite teachers ever.  I could go on and on about the great gaps in gender equality (from genderized toys and books to the fact that Canadian women make 73% of what men do* - 76% is the average for the developed world) but I'm going to stop here, because this isn't a rant about feminism.  This is about how much I loved Caitlin Moran's memoir.

Moran goes through most of her life, from 13 to 35, the time in which she becomes a woman.  She doesn't talk about every single thing that has ever happened to her.  What she does tell us about are those moments that helped her to become the woman she is.  She decided at a young age, 13, she would be a feminist, so even during her drinking, party, snogging years, she was still a feminist.  The first time she has to deal with sexism is so odd and funny and unbelievable (since she was also a teenager).  There was so much I could relate too, like having children.  The first chapter on her period is kind of scary.  I laughed out loud when I was reading about Moran and her husband changing diapers.  I also love the story about Lady Gaga.

Moran talks about some very personal issues and events in her life, but each issue is relevant to women.  Because she does it with humour and flair, I believe that How To Be A Woman is accessible to every woman.  It is probably the only book I will ever say that every woman should read.  Do I think men should read it?  Yes and no, but mostly yes.  It depends on how squeemish they are.  I think they might learn something about what it is women have to deal with.  The chapters about sexism and boyfriends would be helpful.  If you have daughters, the chapters on periods and other adolescent issues might be give you some insight.  Also, men, if you want your daughters, sisters, wives, to be treated the same as men, thought of as equally capable, paid the same, not subject to sexism, then you're feminists too.

*Seriously?!  73%?!  I'm going to tell you, I work just as hard as any man and I better not be getting 27% less than what I'm worth.  I'm the first one here every day.  If I ever find out that this is the case, I will bring down a giant s#*& storm.

More thoughts on How To Be A Woman:

Lucybird's Book Blog

The Blue Bookcase 

What Red Read 

The Book Brothel