Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Top Ten Unfortunate Character Names

Spoilers!! I don’t think I can talk about these names without giving away a little of the story, but I’ll try to keep them to a minimum

The first four are ones that as soon as I read them, I thought they were terrible choices.

1. Renesmee - Breaking Dawn, by: Stephenie Meyer. Really? Really?! Their baby is named what? You couldn’t come up with a name that was easier to pronounce. I know other characters in the book comment on the difficulty of the name, so that her nickname is “Nessy”, which is still dumb. I think this was the first name I ever looked at had to pause in my reading to contemplate how terrible it was.

2. Bree Tanner – The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, by: Stephenie Meyer. I get she’s young and we’re supposed to feel sympathy for her, but “Bree” is not a sympathetic name. The surname is fine, but I just can’t stand the name Bree for a heroine.

3. Courtney Stone – Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict, by: Laurie Viera Rigler. This was another name that jumped out at me. I loved the story, thought it was interesting, but when I hear “Courtney” I think snobby teenage girl.

4. Fuschia – The Fuschia Is Now, by: J. Otto Seibold. I disliked this children’s book. One of the things I didn’t like was the main character being named after a silly colour. The colour/name is yelled through the whole book. It has yet to hold my daughter’s interest.

The rest aren’t terrible, but I thought they could have been better.

5. Artemis Entreri – The Legend of Drizzt series, by: R.A. Salvatore. I love Salvatore’s Drizzt books. I think they’re fun and exciting. I also think Salvatore is excellent when it comes to naming characters. Except when he name Artemis Entreri. Have you ever tried to pronounce his last name? It’s hard, but that’s not the part the really bugs me. Artemis is a girl’s name. Artemis is a Greek warrior goddess. A friend pointed out to me that she’s heard Artemis as a boy’s name before and I have too. Any time I hear it as a boy’s name, it irks me.

6. Dale “Barbie” Barbara – Under The Dome, by: Stephen King. Dale is a perfectly fine name. I even don’t mind the nickname, Barbie, when it’s used cleverly. But why does EVERYONE have to call him that? Even the woman he has sex with?

7. Liz Dunn – Eleanor Rigby, by: Douglas Coupland. Eleanor Rigby was a fantastic novel and Liz was a great character. Was Liz Dunn done from the beginning?

8. Samantha Sweeting – The Undomestic Goddess, by: Sophie Kinsella. She’s supposed to be a lawyer. Sweeting is just a very unlawyerly name.

9. Lord Bostock – The Princess and the Whiskheads, by: Russell Smith. As soon as I read that name, I thought “botox”. Sorry.

I could only come up with nine. A friend of mine suggested my last entry.

10. Every Mary Higgins Clark Character – I admit to never having read one of her books. My friend tells me that the women are supposed to be young and sexy, but they have “old lady” names. I’m taking her word on this.

Thanks to The Broke and The Bookish for another great list and the most difficult one for me since I've been participating.


  1. Yeah, Barbie is a nickname he seems to grin & bear with :D Definitely think the Twilight baby is an odd name--maybe Esme would have worked better?

    Here's mine.

  2. Those a re pretty good. I agree about Bree - it does not have a sympathetic sound.

  3. Great take on the name Bree, you're right though, it's not a sympathetic name at all.
    I truly don't mind the name Renesmee. I think it worked well in their case. It's different for sure, but it's alright!
    Here's My Top Ten

  4. I agree with 1 and 2. I hate the name "Renesmee". And "Bree" always makes me think of cheese (brie).

    If Bree Tanner and Peeta Mellark got together, you'd have a meal!

  5. I agree with you. This was the hardest list I've compiled. I couldn't even come up with ten. You did well!

  6. I was going to mention the Bree=brie thing, but thought my comment was bad enough.

    Krystal, I think you might be the only person who's ever said to me that the like the name "Renesmee".

    readerbuzz, This list was difficult, but I think next week's will be too easy.

  7. I can't believe I forgot Renesmee. That was horrible. I mean, the act of combining two names to make one is sickeningly sweet enough, but two names have never been combined so awkwardly. It was like Meyer was *trying* to make fun of herself. Renesmee "Nessie" Carlie Cullen. Yuck.

  8. I forgot Renesme too and I don't know how! That has to be one of the worst names I've ever come across and shows very poor planning and lack of imagination! If you didn't think far enough ahead to combine two names into an actual proper name, then scrap that idea! Renesme is just terrible

  9. I've got to agree with you about Bree Tanner. You are right, it's just not very sympathetic.

  10. - Wormtongue from LORD OF THE RINGS. The name is just ... gross.

    - Paul Muadib from DUNE. Muadib sounds more like a Middle Eastern appetizer than a messiah's name.

    - Mongo from PUSH (made into the film PRECIOUS). As in "mongoloid".